I said im sorry mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight im cleaning out my closet.
I try so hard to please you mom. Get the grades, surprise you with gifts, mow the lawn, vacuum the house, and rent you those korean dvds you like. I come home early, do my work first, and stay out of trouble. Why ma do you always get mad at me for little things. Im tired of saying sorry to you every time something happens even when its not my fault because I know if I dont apoligize you'll stay mad. You always tell me I hold this family together. Have you ever thought that I'm hurting too. That I have my problems and that smile you see everyday might be a painful one. Yet I smile and apoligize everytime. Not this time ma it's getting me sick and tired of being sick and tired. Yet, I still love you ma I just hope you realize that before its too late.
"Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountains." - John Locke
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Dongseng! You'll understand later on that your mother's strictness, the way she blames you, the way she gets mad at you, is her way of showing you she loves you. Most parents don't care enough. Look what happened to me, you know? My mom didn't care enough and I didn't turn out so good. It's different with my dad though, he's like your mother. Your mother has high expectations for you, and that's a great thing. Treasure it. Because there are kids out there with parents who don't expect anything from them. And when you're not expected anything of yourself, you're worthless. You aren't special, and you don't stand out among the rest. It's a burden, I know. Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is on your shoulders, and sometimes, you don't want to keep going. You just want to stop. But you can't just do that you know? Family helps you grow and become a better person. I see a much different person in you now than three years ago. It's a good change, maturity. Thank God you're not stuck like everyone else you know? I'm proud of you, and I know for a fact your family is. Just wait, the time will come when everything falls into place. Even though I'm not running or driving distance, I'm a phone call or e-mail away. Miss you, keep your chin up.
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