Today I got really angry with my family. Everytime I think life is good im hit with a rude awakening. On the outside my family looks perfect. Parents are together, I get good grades at school, and it seems like I have a carefree attitude. Things are different when I get home. It is a warzone and it is rare to see a day without yelling and screaming. Most times I just try to shut everything out. The thing is although I get yelled at alot of little things I mostly accept the fact that I did something wrong. Lately I've tried to be more of a respectful son by being more subservient to my parents wishes. As a result I have actually been on a level relationship with my parents as of late, but not my brother. He is always at the center of the yelling and screaming nowadays. I love my brother but at the same time I am so disappointed in him and at times want to just disown him. Because I was the older son I got in trouble for everything from having a phone to going out with friends, but because of what I had to go through life for my brother is easier. He got his phone before me, started going out earlier than I did, and got to get away without trouble for something I would have gotten beaten for. I just cant understand why he always wants to talk back to my parents or start yelling if he doesn't get his way. Today I tried to help my brother because my parents dont trust him as of late because of his habitual lying. I convinced my mom to let my brother stay out later with his friends, but because of his back talk and side comments I just lost it and punched the door. Of course my mom lost it because I did this and everything just exploded. As I write this I just want to go somewhere else and start anew without all this drama. Yet my mom tells me that without me the family would break apart because I have the ability to cease all the fighting in our family with my reasonable talk. Although I want to just live with a fuck it attitude I cant because of my own morals. I want to become someone who makes a difference in this world, I just wish I could let go of my anger.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
hypocritical
Recently I got apprehended for smoking a cig in front of some people on the praise team at my church. I take full responsibility for making such a bad decision. What I do not agree with is being told that I gave someone a cig and that I am a bad influence on this person. This does not make sense to me because I did not hand this person a cig and say smoke this even though I know its not good for you. No the person asked for one and who am I to say no to anyone who smokes. It is a person's lifestyle choice. The other thing that crossed my mind as I was being apprehended was I couldn't actually believe that these people actually told on what happened to my pastor. It is not understandable to me on being yelled at in front of the whole church because of one cig. It is not like I robbed someone or hit someone at church but no I apparently gave a cig to someone who smokes and because of that I am a bad person. I was also told I was to never speak or aknowledge the person I was with because I was a bad influence. Im sorry but thats something that is unreasonable. How can you tell me to end a friendship with someone over one cig. The other thing is I know that not everyone is perfect at our church. I know im not. So before you tell on someone take a deep look at yourselves before you judge others.
Who are you to judge. You people wake up everyday with a fake aura of self-righteousness. Just know that everyone has dirty secrets. It is only the hypocrites who take these secrets and spread them around while harboring their own secrets.
A hypocrite despises those whom he deceives, but has no respect for himself. He would make a dupe of himself too, if he could. - William Hazlitt
Who are you to judge. You people wake up everyday with a fake aura of self-righteousness. Just know that everyone has dirty secrets. It is only the hypocrites who take these secrets and spread them around while harboring their own secrets.
A hypocrite despises those whom he deceives, but has no respect for himself. He would make a dupe of himself too, if he could. - William Hazlitt
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Hey Juliet
I believe everyone has someone in their life that they always think about no matter where that person may be. It couldbe your spouse, mother, father, friends, and then there is her. Analyzing my past relationships I find that it is readily my fault. Im cocky, loud, and arrogant, yet I am also much more than that. Im honest, caring, and funny. Yet, when I meet new girls I tend to act differently I don't know why. The biggest thing I've learned is to be yourself and I give out this advice freely like it's running water; however, when I look at myself I am being hypocritcal. This has happened on many occasions which is why I've had so many falling out with different girls and girlfriends, but that is not the case with her i can act myself around her. I guess she is that one girl i just cant let go. Even if the other people dont approve. I see her as perfect. No matter how hard i try to move on i always find myself gravitating back to her like a magnet. I guess ill just patiently wait until the time is right and tell you what you mean to me.
I understand AA when you tell me no matter what the other guys think that you think she is the most beautiful person in the world, because in your eyes she is, and I understand. I feel the same way about HER
For everyone out there reading this go to sleep tonight feeling loved because there is at least one person out there in this world who is thinking of you at this very moment.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I have no control over. - unknown
I understand AA when you tell me no matter what the other guys think that you think she is the most beautiful person in the world, because in your eyes she is, and I understand. I feel the same way about HER
For everyone out there reading this go to sleep tonight feeling loved because there is at least one person out there in this world who is thinking of you at this very moment.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I have no control over. - unknown
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Real Life Ownage
A very interesting thing happened today. I was returning to my engineering class after I had received my yearbook and as I approached the door a commotion was going on in class. I peered in to see a classmate unnamed acting out of his mind. The way he was acting I suspected he was drunk. The funny thing was my teacher also took notice and was trying to keep from laughing his ass off. My teacher took unnamed outside and was talking to him. All the while unnamed was denying it although we could all CLEARLY tell he was drunk off his ass. The teacher went outside to get an administrator and unnamed was just sitting there outside the classroom looking dumb off his mind. My friend Gaga went up to him and told him he should just dip outside of school because he would only get AWOL instead of getting busted again while he was under probation for marijuana possesion. Two minutes later we look back out the door and we see unnamed running off for the door as the teacher comes with an administrator. True story unnamed got tackled by one of the biggest basketball coaches and the jacked counselor. Basically unnamed got owned and it was one of the funniest things I have witnessed at school.
the moral of the story is dont go to school drunk cuz your teachers are not stupid
"Stupidity has a knack for getting its way" - Albert Camus
the moral of the story is dont go to school drunk cuz your teachers are not stupid
"Stupidity has a knack for getting its way" - Albert Camus
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
1st post
I decided to start a blog cuz I noticed everyone has one and because I miss xanga.
I've decided this will be my mini journal complete with stories from the day, the past, and emotional ramblings an average kid has.
So lets see Prom was two days ago. It wasn't as great as I thought it would be; however, I did enjoy seeing all my friends dressed up and looking sharp. Of course the ladies were stunning in their dresses. Taking pictures was fun. The funny poses, the serious ones, the dang its hot kinda look ones. During the dinner and prom I noticed a static akwardness between some people. Me and my date included. I am not going to lie, there were times I wished I had come with a specific other but that would have never happened. Next year, maybe I will not be such a wuss and actually do what my heart thinks instead of overanalyzing things in my head and ask the person I really wanted to go with. As I write this I am not saying I didn't like my prom date it's just that the one true girl I wanted to ask was not available.
As junior year slowly comes to a close. I realize I am going to miss everyone one of my friends that are off to college next year. During the past year we all became so close even though we are all very different and dynamic characters. I just want to give a little shoutout to you guys that are leaving.
to the crazy one
Seven years since we've known each other. As many dumb arguments as good times. Thank you for picking me up that one night even though it was late. I guess it was a true epiphany cuz I knew we would be friends for life. Good luck whatever you decide to do whether it be college or the military just know that I'll support you all the way.
to the one thats Similar to me
Yea we're cocky, we aren't perfect, yet we have similar mind sets. It's funny to think we went to preschool together and 11 years later we are best friends. Thank you for all the times you gave me a ride though I live in the opposite direction and for all the man talks we've had. Good luck at UGA next year and don't forget to call me and invite me to Athens yah homo.
to the introverted Athlete
Although we disagree in many things. I think we complement each other well. You are able to make me see the opposing view point of things and keep me in check when I become selfish. Although we may not talk about things out loud as much as the other guys. We understand each other through our actions. You are also one of the nicest people I know. And the one man talk we had the night you slept over was awesome. Good luck wherever you plan to go next year and don't worry we'll still keep in touch.
to the steroid taking Jock
aha nah im jk. Winter retreat brought us together really close. I like the fact that I can confide in you with whatever I am thinking. You have one of the best personalities I know. I have never seen you get mad at another friend and you treat everyone with respect. I thank you for letting me come over whenever I get bored and for trusting me to drive whenever you are unable to aha. Good luck next year in college bro
to the military man
Thanks for all the times you picked me up just to chill cuz I didn't have the car. Of all the friends I have. We have never had an arguement. We just get along well aha. I appreciate you for always giving me advice whether it be girls or college and for being the only one awake at 2 am to talk to just cuz im bored. Good luck at Citiadel next year and maybe Ill join you there.
to the artistic one
to be honest I was kind of sketch around you at the beginning. But as we became closer and started to hang out more I realized your one of the funniest and nicest people I know. You also share my passion for music and art and I thank thee for supporting my music and giving me advice. Come out to church more so we can hang out the whole weekend lol.
Good luck next year at state buddy.
to the static one
You are one chill dude. I can never seem to get mad at you. No matter what you do I find it hilarious from the way you eat to the way tou talk. You are a very intelligent person and I enjoy having conversations with you no matter what the topic may be. Thank you for letting me drive your car around no matter how ridiculous my requests are somtimes.
Good luck next year at UGA and help me with my essays next year :)
to the ddangkkong
you son of a mother's lover ahah
nah im jp bruh preciate it for being there so I can get a laugh everytime I look at you. Preciate you also being a good friend and giving me rides when I was in need of transport. Your a nice guy with a good heart. Treat the girl well and good luck next year.
"I count myself in nothing else so happy
As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends."- William Shakespeare
I've decided this will be my mini journal complete with stories from the day, the past, and emotional ramblings an average kid has.
So lets see Prom was two days ago. It wasn't as great as I thought it would be; however, I did enjoy seeing all my friends dressed up and looking sharp. Of course the ladies were stunning in their dresses. Taking pictures was fun. The funny poses, the serious ones, the dang its hot kinda look ones. During the dinner and prom I noticed a static akwardness between some people. Me and my date included. I am not going to lie, there were times I wished I had come with a specific other but that would have never happened. Next year, maybe I will not be such a wuss and actually do what my heart thinks instead of overanalyzing things in my head and ask the person I really wanted to go with. As I write this I am not saying I didn't like my prom date it's just that the one true girl I wanted to ask was not available.
As junior year slowly comes to a close. I realize I am going to miss everyone one of my friends that are off to college next year. During the past year we all became so close even though we are all very different and dynamic characters. I just want to give a little shoutout to you guys that are leaving.
to the crazy one
Seven years since we've known each other. As many dumb arguments as good times. Thank you for picking me up that one night even though it was late. I guess it was a true epiphany cuz I knew we would be friends for life. Good luck whatever you decide to do whether it be college or the military just know that I'll support you all the way.
to the one thats Similar to me
Yea we're cocky, we aren't perfect, yet we have similar mind sets. It's funny to think we went to preschool together and 11 years later we are best friends. Thank you for all the times you gave me a ride though I live in the opposite direction and for all the man talks we've had. Good luck at UGA next year and don't forget to call me and invite me to Athens yah homo.
to the introverted Athlete
Although we disagree in many things. I think we complement each other well. You are able to make me see the opposing view point of things and keep me in check when I become selfish. Although we may not talk about things out loud as much as the other guys. We understand each other through our actions. You are also one of the nicest people I know. And the one man talk we had the night you slept over was awesome. Good luck wherever you plan to go next year and don't worry we'll still keep in touch.
to the steroid taking Jock
aha nah im jk. Winter retreat brought us together really close. I like the fact that I can confide in you with whatever I am thinking. You have one of the best personalities I know. I have never seen you get mad at another friend and you treat everyone with respect. I thank you for letting me come over whenever I get bored and for trusting me to drive whenever you are unable to aha. Good luck next year in college bro
to the military man
Thanks for all the times you picked me up just to chill cuz I didn't have the car. Of all the friends I have. We have never had an arguement. We just get along well aha. I appreciate you for always giving me advice whether it be girls or college and for being the only one awake at 2 am to talk to just cuz im bored. Good luck at Citiadel next year and maybe Ill join you there.
to the artistic one
to be honest I was kind of sketch around you at the beginning. But as we became closer and started to hang out more I realized your one of the funniest and nicest people I know. You also share my passion for music and art and I thank thee for supporting my music and giving me advice. Come out to church more so we can hang out the whole weekend lol.
Good luck next year at state buddy.
to the static one
You are one chill dude. I can never seem to get mad at you. No matter what you do I find it hilarious from the way you eat to the way tou talk. You are a very intelligent person and I enjoy having conversations with you no matter what the topic may be. Thank you for letting me drive your car around no matter how ridiculous my requests are somtimes.
Good luck next year at UGA and help me with my essays next year :)
to the ddangkkong
you son of a mother's lover ahah
nah im jp bruh preciate it for being there so I can get a laugh everytime I look at you. Preciate you also being a good friend and giving me rides when I was in need of transport. Your a nice guy with a good heart. Treat the girl well and good luck next year.
"I count myself in nothing else so happy
As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends."- William Shakespeare
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