preview of a new rap im working on

Dreamer

26sec
Yea im just a dreamer
with dreams of getting big
ever since i was a little kid
reminisce to the first time i ever spit
on the mic played it back shit sounded so bad
coulda quit and stayed mad
but i never gave up hope
thinking one day people would listen to the lyrics i wrote
and hear em say whooo that boy is dope
yea that boy is gonna blow onto the hip hop scene
and i save it like the hero am i dreaming? i dont know
but i never wanna let it go
hard work pays off
im the living proof i used to weigh 200 pounds before
now i aint even scared to take my shirt off anymore
took all the fat jokes and watched my perserverence grow
will i ever lose that dedication? what you think? hell no
Hello to all the ones that hated on my lyrical ability
now yah the ones who be lookin silly
thought your harsh words could faze me? not really?
not when my dreams to make a milly
put your lighters up if yah feel me
successful in any endeavers you meet
all you gotta do is believe
so when your feelin down take a listen to this melody
let it be your therapy, put yah head phones on
let the beat drop and set you free
when i rap i get a feeling even better than a drug i guess that its my ecstacy

142sec
Im dreaming of a better place where i can go and know that im the star
rapping in the spot light and im rocking this crowd like
side to side with my hands up high
this is what i call the good life
yea its finally my time to shine
so im still dreaming yea i got a feeling
tonight ill be chilling with some pretty girls
209 sec

honestly im feeling insecure and lonely
I wish i had a girl who could really know me
show me the better things in life
yea i lay it out while im grippin the mic
cant give up now my future lookin bright
grind a little harder get my head right
get those drugs outta my sight
man im done with the high life

Sweet Georgia

Okay its been a while but i decided to share one of my essays from this school year. I happen to suck very much at writing as shown by my 450 writing on my SAT lol but this essay is the best piece I have ever written.


I am a true Georgia boy. I was born in 1991 at Grady Memorial hospital and I have been a resident here for all 17 years of my life. I have lived in Dekalb County for seven years and Gwinnett County for ten years. Most people who grow up in the south usually want to move elsewhere by the time they reach adulthood. However, I would never be able to leave because I love my sweet Georgia.

One would not expect a Korean American to enjoy the south. Most Korean people are attracted to the big city areas such as Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago because of the similarity in the city life found in South Korea. For me Georgia is just fine. I love everything about the south except for the bipolar weather of Georgia. Nevertheless there is something about driving down highway 85, gazing across the city skyline of Atlanta at night, and the sight of planes taking off from Hartsfield Jackson airport that gives me a magical feeling of truly belonging in the south.

Being an Atlanta native I am also deeply attached to all the Atlanta sports teams. Which I probably adopted from my dad's obsession with the Atlanta Braves. I have always been a fan of the Falcons, Hawks, Braves, and the Thrashers. I have weeped through the terrible losing streaks of all the Atlanta teams, and I have also rejoiced with my fellow Atlanta natives through the Superbowl, NBA playoffs, World Series, and the NHL playoffs. I can still remember the ecstasy flowing through my body while attending my first Braves game at Turner Field. Yelling with joy as I saw Mat Ryan throw his first touchdown pass to Roddy White, and the day Josh Smith completely posterized Steve Nash for the most thunderous dunk I have witnessed in person.

My affection for Georgia does not only pertain to my love of the sports teams but also the food found in the south. I do not know how I would be able to function without a All Star special from Waho or the Chik Fil A combo with the special Georgia iced sweet tea. I can honestly say that I have been around true Georgia cooking all my life.
Who would believe my parents actually owned and ran a soul food restaurant called The Grill for four years. The restaurant was located on Walton Street just a few blocks away from the CNN Tower and Underground Atlanta. I remember waking up at 5:00 every Friday during the summer breaks to help my parents run the restaurant. For seven hours I would be surrounded by the aroma of grits, biscuits, chitlins, steak, fried okra, mac & cheese, and fried chicken wings. After business hours my family along with Laura a long time employee of my parents would sit down and eat the leftovers for the day yet, it is still the best southern food I have ever had in my life.

These fond memories along with all the unique people I have become friends with makes me feel truly blessed to live in the south. I cannot picture myself living anywhere else for like Ray Charles I only have Georgia on my mind.

epic fail

change is hard. no really its hard

change

After doing some pretty stupid things this summer and realizing I need to change. I've decided to set some goals.

1. I'm going to be nice to everyone no matter who it is.
A couple of close friends of mine told me they were worried for me. I always rebuked what they said saying I haven't changed, but as I see the people around me and my actions of late I've realized I don't like the person I've become. I'm going to change for the better.

2. Quit smoking.
It's bad for my health, and after a deep talk with my Dad I've realized its for the best.

3. Quit drinking.
There was a time in my life where I did not even touch alcohol. It fucks you up, puts you in a different state of mind, and makes you do things you normally wouldn't do.

lifestyles

Everyone has differing lifestyles.
Mine is actually quite simple.
Yet, there are a few things that are best left kept secret...
Just because I do some things that most people don't do it does not make me a bad person.
A few people may know what I am talking about...
I have the same goals as everyone our age- go to college and live a successful life.
What I do is what I chose to do, if you cannot except me at my worst then you do not deserve me for the best.

Dear Mama

I said im sorry mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight im cleaning out my closet.

I try so hard to please you mom. Get the grades, surprise you with gifts, mow the lawn, vacuum the house, and rent you those korean dvds you like. I come home early, do my work first, and stay out of trouble. Why ma do you always get mad at me for little things. Im tired of saying sorry to you every time something happens even when its not my fault because I know if I dont apoligize you'll stay mad. You always tell me I hold this family together. Have you ever thought that I'm hurting too. That I have my problems and that smile you see everyday might be a painful one. Yet I smile and apoligize everytime. Not this time ma it's getting me sick and tired of being sick and tired. Yet, I still love you ma I just hope you realize that before its too late.

"Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountains." - John Locke

Zee Avi

Typically I wouldn't listen to music like this but something about this girl's voice and melodies are so captivating. I thought I should share great music like this with you guys. Zee Avi is a girl from Malaysia who recently signed a record deal because of her youtube videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0rafi5CG5M Zee Avi - Bitter Heart
Despite the title the music is very catchy and uplifting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCsPpXsdwBU Zee Avi - Someone You Used To Know
A very touching song and the lyrics strike so deeply.

Every now and then when I hear new songs or artists I like I'll share them with you guys.

Music can ease the pain, get a party started, or even, resolve a conflict because of how beautiful it can be.

"Music is what feelings sound like." - unknown

anger

Today I got really angry with my family. Everytime I think life is good im hit with a rude awakening. On the outside my family looks perfect. Parents are together, I get good grades at school, and it seems like I have a carefree attitude. Things are different when I get home. It is a warzone and it is rare to see a day without yelling and screaming. Most times I just try to shut everything out. The thing is although I get yelled at alot of little things I mostly accept the fact that I did something wrong. Lately I've tried to be more of a respectful son by being more subservient to my parents wishes. As a result I have actually been on a level relationship with my parents as of late, but not my brother. He is always at the center of the yelling and screaming nowadays. I love my brother but at the same time I am so disappointed in him and at times want to just disown him. Because I was the older son I got in trouble for everything from having a phone to going out with friends, but because of what I had to go through life for my brother is easier. He got his phone before me, started going out earlier than I did, and got to get away without trouble for something I would have gotten beaten for. I just cant understand why he always wants to talk back to my parents or start yelling if he doesn't get his way. Today I tried to help my brother because my parents dont trust him as of late because of his habitual lying. I convinced my mom to let my brother stay out later with his friends, but because of his back talk and side comments I just lost it and punched the door. Of course my mom lost it because I did this and everything just exploded. As I write this I just want to go somewhere else and start anew without all this drama. Yet my mom tells me that without me the family would break apart because I have the ability to cease all the fighting in our family with my reasonable talk. Although I want to just live with a fuck it attitude I cant because of my own morals. I want to become someone who makes a difference in this world, I just wish I could let go of my anger.



"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha

hypocritical

Recently I got apprehended for smoking a cig in front of some people on the praise team at my church. I take full responsibility for making such a bad decision. What I do not agree with is being told that I gave someone a cig and that I am a bad influence on this person. This does not make sense to me because I did not hand this person a cig and say smoke this even though I know its not good for you. No the person asked for one and who am I to say no to anyone who smokes. It is a person's lifestyle choice. The other thing that crossed my mind as I was being apprehended was I couldn't actually believe that these people actually told on what happened to my pastor. It is not understandable to me on being yelled at in front of the whole church because of one cig. It is not like I robbed someone or hit someone at church but no I apparently gave a cig to someone who smokes and because of that I am a bad person. I was also told I was to never speak or aknowledge the person I was with because I was a bad influence. Im sorry but thats something that is unreasonable. How can you tell me to end a friendship with someone over one cig. The other thing is I know that not everyone is perfect at our church. I know im not. So before you tell on someone take a deep look at yourselves before you judge others.

Who are you to judge. You people wake up everyday with a fake aura of self-righteousness. Just know that everyone has dirty secrets. It is only the hypocrites who take these secrets and spread them around while harboring their own secrets.

A hypocrite despises those whom he deceives, but has no respect for himself. He would make a dupe of himself too, if he could. - William Hazlitt

Hey Juliet

I believe everyone has someone in their life that they always think about no matter where that person may be. It couldbe your spouse, mother, father, friends, and then there is her. Analyzing my past relationships I find that it is readily my fault. Im cocky, loud, and arrogant, yet I am also much more than that. Im honest, caring, and funny. Yet, when I meet new girls I tend to act differently I don't know why. The biggest thing I've learned is to be yourself and I give out this advice freely like it's running water; however, when I look at myself I am being hypocritcal. This has happened on many occasions which is why I've had so many falling out with different girls and girlfriends, but that is not the case with her i can act myself around her. I guess she is that one girl i just cant let go. Even if the other people dont approve. I see her as perfect. No matter how hard i try to move on i always find myself gravitating back to her like a magnet. I guess ill just patiently wait until the time is right and tell you what you mean to me.

I understand AA when you tell me no matter what the other guys think that you think she is the most beautiful person in the world, because in your eyes she is, and I understand. I feel the same way about HER

For everyone out there reading this go to sleep tonight feeling loved because there is at least one person out there in this world who is thinking of you at this very moment.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I have no control over. - unknown

Real Life Ownage

A very interesting thing happened today. I was returning to my engineering class after I had received my yearbook and as I approached the door a commotion was going on in class. I peered in to see a classmate unnamed acting out of his mind. The way he was acting I suspected he was drunk. The funny thing was my teacher also took notice and was trying to keep from laughing his ass off. My teacher took unnamed outside and was talking to him. All the while unnamed was denying it although we could all CLEARLY tell he was drunk off his ass. The teacher went outside to get an administrator and unnamed was just sitting there outside the classroom looking dumb off his mind. My friend Gaga went up to him and told him he should just dip outside of school because he would only get AWOL instead of getting busted again while he was under probation for marijuana possesion. Two minutes later we look back out the door and we see unnamed running off for the door as the teacher comes with an administrator. True story unnamed got tackled by one of the biggest basketball coaches and the jacked counselor. Basically unnamed got owned and it was one of the funniest things I have witnessed at school.
the moral of the story is dont go to school drunk cuz your teachers are not stupid

"Stupidity has a knack for getting its way" - Albert Camus

1st post

I decided to start a blog cuz I noticed everyone has one and because I miss xanga.
I've decided this will be my mini journal complete with stories from the day, the past, and emotional ramblings an average kid has.

So lets see Prom was two days ago. It wasn't as great as I thought it would be; however, I did enjoy seeing all my friends dressed up and looking sharp. Of course the ladies were stunning in their dresses. Taking pictures was fun. The funny poses, the serious ones, the dang its hot kinda look ones. During the dinner and prom I noticed a static akwardness between some people. Me and my date included. I am not going to lie, there were times I wished I had come with a specific other but that would have never happened. Next year, maybe I will not be such a wuss and actually do what my heart thinks instead of overanalyzing things in my head and ask the person I really wanted to go with. As I write this I am not saying I didn't like my prom date it's just that the one true girl I wanted to ask was not available.

As junior year slowly comes to a close. I realize I am going to miss everyone one of my friends that are off to college next year. During the past year we all became so close even though we are all very different and dynamic characters. I just want to give a little shoutout to you guys that are leaving.

to the crazy one
Seven years since we've known each other. As many dumb arguments as good times. Thank you for picking me up that one night even though it was late. I guess it was a true epiphany cuz I knew we would be friends for life. Good luck whatever you decide to do whether it be college or the military just know that I'll support you all the way.

to the one thats Similar to me
Yea we're cocky, we aren't perfect, yet we have similar mind sets. It's funny to think we went to preschool together and 11 years later we are best friends. Thank you for all the times you gave me a ride though I live in the opposite direction and for all the man talks we've had. Good luck at UGA next year and don't forget to call me and invite me to Athens yah homo.

to the introverted Athlete
Although we disagree in many things. I think we complement each other well. You are able to make me see the opposing view point of things and keep me in check when I become selfish. Although we may not talk about things out loud as much as the other guys. We understand each other through our actions. You are also one of the nicest people I know. And the one man talk we had the night you slept over was awesome. Good luck wherever you plan to go next year and don't worry we'll still keep in touch.

to the steroid taking Jock
aha nah im jk. Winter retreat brought us together really close. I like the fact that I can confide in you with whatever I am thinking. You have one of the best personalities I know. I have never seen you get mad at another friend and you treat everyone with respect. I thank you for letting me come over whenever I get bored and for trusting me to drive whenever you are unable to aha. Good luck next year in college bro

to the military man
Thanks for all the times you picked me up just to chill cuz I didn't have the car. Of all the friends I have. We have never had an arguement. We just get along well aha. I appreciate you for always giving me advice whether it be girls or college and for being the only one awake at 2 am to talk to just cuz im bored. Good luck at Citiadel next year and maybe Ill join you there.

to the artistic one
to be honest I was kind of sketch around you at the beginning. But as we became closer and started to hang out more I realized your one of the funniest and nicest people I know. You also share my passion for music and art and I thank thee for supporting my music and giving me advice. Come out to church more so we can hang out the whole weekend lol.
Good luck next year at state buddy.

to the static one
You are one chill dude. I can never seem to get mad at you. No matter what you do I find it hilarious from the way you eat to the way tou talk. You are a very intelligent person and I enjoy having conversations with you no matter what the topic may be. Thank you for letting me drive your car around no matter how ridiculous my requests are somtimes.
Good luck next year at UGA and help me with my essays next year :)

to the ddangkkong
you son of a mother's lover ahah
nah im jp bruh preciate it for being there so I can get a laugh everytime I look at you. Preciate you also being a good friend and giving me rides when I was in need of transport. Your a nice guy with a good heart. Treat the girl well and good luck next year.

"I count myself in nothing else so happy
As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends."- William Shakespeare